A great mate of mine was a fabulous singer. His voice would stop people in their tracks. Even just to listen to him sing for a few moments would uplift any heart. He wasn't a professional, but he had been in local talent contests and karaoke competitions. He had been "talent spotted" by agencies but he said he sang for love and not for money.

Earl came to visit me in hospital in London when I first got cancer. He always made me laugh and his visit was the tonic I needed. Just before he left, he said, "People don't realise that in their darkest moments, the dawn is just around the corner. You've got to hang in there because your best days are always ahead of you. One step, one breath at a time and you will make it!" He gave me a big hug. I said, "Before you go can you sing me a song." He started to sing, ‘My Way’ by Frank Sinatra. The first two lines of that song are, "And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain," which made us both cry with laughter. He then sang, ‘Lean on Me’ by Bill Withers and that made me cry for a completely different reason.

When he died, ‘Lean on Me’ was the song his three children sang at his funeral. Reading the words of the song in the order of service programme summed up Earl's life to a tee. He lived for love and not for money.

It's something I reflect on often when I think about my boys at Wellington College. How can we make it so clear, so sign-posted that it's okay to need somebody to lean on when times are hard? We all need somebody to lean on.

I think young people are sometimes like helium balloons. They may only have one person in their life that they feel anchors them. When that person is not around, or that tie is cut, they fly away aimlessly without direction or support. It’s so important to show our boys that they have many anchors in their lives, and that when one tie is cut, they have lots more to keep them stable; a lot of people to keep them grounded and centered.

I was working with a group of students at my school in London, students that had very tough backgrounds and were constantly in trouble in and out of school. We each made a map, including me. We put ourselves at the top in a bubble and we drew a line to the bottom of the page. With every line we wrote a name of someone we could ‘lean on’ or anchor us in tough times. We talked about what a good anchor looks like. I talked about Earl and how he was an anchor to me and so many other people - generous with his time and his words.

The kids were amazed at the number of anchors they had. We spoke about why each of their chosen people were good anchors and we all committed to showing our maps to those people on our page.

The feedback was humbling when our group got back together. There were lots of tears from people who were honoured to be on the kids’ maps.

One of my boys, Badrick, was Jamaican and he had arrived at school only three months prior to our group getting together. The name Badrick means ‘mighty or powerful'. He was an old soul. He had a very strong Patois accent. He said, "Teacher weh yuh fren Earl did tink." I said, "Badrick, remember I told you that Earl passed away last year?" Badrick put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Mi know him don pass on but yuh can still speak to him him ago be listening. Ask him weh he tink?"

I said, "I think he would be really happy to be one of my anchors and he would also say that Badrick will be a great anchor for others."

Badrick smiled and said, "Earl get dat right. Di bes wod come fram di aat and no di mout. Yuh no huffing, speak it yuh just feel it."

I would love to know what happened to Badrick. He left us not long after that to go to a school in Manchester. I rang the principal to tell him he was receiving a gift called Badrick.

I often think of his words and tell people that a friend of mine, Badrick, told me that the best words come from the heart and not the mouth. You don't have to speak it, you just feel it.

There are always people who care, even if you don’t see them right now. Keep reaching out, keep connecting, and trust that community is built one small interaction at a time.

Glen Denham

Headmaster